Nearly every indigenous people

on Earth is reevaluating, rediscovering

and reappreciating its ancient

ways, the traditions of the forefathers.

Tradition is the best of the past that has been

carried forward for the future. Among Hindus,

too—a people of many nationalities comprising

one sixth of the human race—the old, refined

culture of simple, wholesome living is being

recognized as a way of wisdom. As the age of

information gathers speed at the dawn of the

millenium, efforts are being made in every community

to preserve and pass this knowledge on to future generations.

This movement rides on a new pride, a renaissance of inspiration,

a recuperation from centuries of British domination of India in

which Hindu dignity was systematically undermined through the

Macaulay education system. Today, as well, there is a burgeoning

interest among Westerners to understand and adopt Hindu ways.

Those seeking to fully live the Hindu culture who have been raised

in non-Hindu environments face many challenges. Hindu culture is

the pristine embodiment of a profound

philosophy. It is an Eastern culture that

gives freedom within the bounds of duty

to elders, spouse and children. Western

culture gives freedom to the individual,

irrespective of the hurts he may inflict

on others. The sense of duty is the foundation

of Hindu culture, and in performing

duty one finds freedom within oneself

through yoga. Culture arises out of

the attitudes, which are the outgrowth

of the belief structure, of an individual

or collective group. To be cultured means to exemplify the highest

qualities of one’s society, religion or philosophy. There are countless

ways the Hindu attitudes of compassion, respect and self-effacement

are expressed. The keys below were developed by travelers

to India who learned the hard way how to get along in a different

culture. We summarize their cues and clues as a simple guide for

novices and to assist Western seekers pilgrimaging in the holy lands

to fit in as smoothly and unobtrusively as possible

Respect

Hindu culture is an expression of love, respect, honoring others and humbling

one’s own ego so that the inner nature, which is naturally pure and modest, will

shine forth. This is exemplified in the Hindu greeting in which we honor the

Divinity within each person, knowing that God is everywhere and in all things.

By this and other acts of reverence, such as the following, Sanatana Dharma’s

truths are brought to the forefront of the mind many times each day.

Respect for Elders: Respect for elders is a keystone of Hindu culture. This acknowledgment

of seniority is demonstrated through endearing customs such as:

sitting to the left of elders, bringing gifts on special occasions, not sitting while

they are standing, not speaking excessively, not yawning or stretching, not putting

one’s opinions forward strongly, not contradicting or arguing, seeking their

advice and blessings, giving them first choice of seats, inviting them to take

their food first or serving them first.

Honoring Parents: Cultured Hindus serve their parents and close relatives all

through life, honoring them through obedience and affection, and by providing

support and comfort during old age.

Name Protocol: Youngers never use the proper name of their elders. A Tamil

younger brother, for example, refers to his elder brother as annai (brother), or

periannai (elder brother). The elder may use the name of the younger. Children

refer to adults as auntie or uncle. Adults refer to each other as elder or younger

brother or simply brother (likewise for women). Only men the same age occasionally

use the first name. A Hindu wife speaking of her husband, rather than

using his given name, uses terms such as “my husband,” “him” or, for example,

“Jothi’s father.” When addressing yogis, swamis or sadhakas, one uses the title,

not personal pronouns nor the name alone). For example, one would not ask,

“What do you want?” Instead, one would inquire, “What does swami want?”

Touching Feet: One touches the feet of holy persons in recognition of their Divinity

and attainment. A dancer touches the teacher’s feet before lessons. Children

prostrate on the floor and touch the feet of their mother and father at

special times, such as New Year’s day, birthdays and before parting for a journey.

Hosting Guests in the Home

Hindu tradition lays great stress on the respect due to guests. All guests are

God, Who comes in many forms. The greatest hurt is the thought that the host

or hostess does not enjoy one’s presence in their home. Therefore, Hindus go

out of their way to make each guest feel welcome. It is proper protocol to drop

whatever one is doing, no matter how important, to entertain a visitor. One of

the privileges of friendship in the East is being able to drop by any time without

advance notice. Visitors may also leave in the same casual way, saying “I’ll be

going now,” without necessarily even saying goodbye.

Refreshments: It is customary to always offer your visitor something to eat and

drink. Usually tea is served, but at least a glass of water should be offered (with

a smile and apology). Likewise it is an insult for the guest to refuse food or beverages,

or to not even sip a glass of water, even when time is short.

Hosting: Children generally leave the room, with a smile, when guests enter.

The mother remains close by to serve as needs arise. The father, if present, will

speak with the guest. If not present, the mother and a son will fulfill this role,

and if no son is present, the mother may act as hostess, but only with the accompaniment

of someone close to the family.

Wife Home Alone: If the lady of the house is home alone and a male visitor comes

to see her husband, it is not proper for her to invite him in, nor for him to expect

to enter. Rather, he will leave a message and take his leave.

Punctuality: Eastern life is generally more relaxed than in the West. A good

guideline is do not be surprised or offended if your guest arrives late or early.

But be punctual in your own engagements, as this is appreciated.

Giving Gifts: Gifts are always given when one stays over night as a guest in

someone’s home. The value of the gift varies greatly, depending upon circumstance.

It is proper to give a separate gift for the wife and the husband. The wife

receives the nicest item.

Duration of Stay: It is quite impolite to ask a guest how long he intends to stay, but it

is good protocol for guests to make their plans and itinerary known from the outset.

Exchange of Prana

Prana is the life principle, the subtle energy that emanates from the psychic

force centers called chakras. Religious people, being sensitive to the various

expressions of prana, are careful in how they manage their own energies and

discriminating about the pranas they receive from the world around them. Prevailing

pranas create a forcefield, positive or negative. The ideal Hindu home is

a positive forcefield, kept strong through right thought, word and deed.

Homecoming: Upon arriving home from work, it is customary to immediately

bathe and enter the shrine room for special blessings to dispel worldly forces,

quiet the mind and regain a centered, spiritual consciousness.

Giving and Receiving: Giving and accepting things, presenting offerings to the

Deity, etc., is properly done with both hands, to endow more energy to the

object. This exchange of energies is vital for friendship and harmony through

wholehearted release by the giver and conscious acceptance by the recipient.

Throwing Things: Throwing an object to another person, even to a close friend,

is improper. Cultured Hindus consider this crude, even mildly violent.

Greetings: Hindu men traditionally greet one another with hands in anjali mudra

(prayerful pose), then, with palms still held together, extend their hands to

one another, in a two-handed handshake. This is a deliberate transfer of prana.

The hands of one man, usually the less senior, are gently clasped between the

other’s. Each looks smilingly into the other’s face while bowing slightly in humility.

Doorways: It is inauspicious to converse inside or through doorways. Similarly,

to exchange or give or lend an object, one first steps inside the room, or the

recipient steps out of the room, so that both parties are in the same space.

Auspiciousness: To ensure optimum timing for important events, Hindus guide

their life by the map of auspiciousness, determined by astrology and indicated

in the annual almanac, called panchanga. It provides vital information about

the subtle but powerful affect of the planets and stars, indicating the prevailing

forces of each day, the best times for innovations, travel, planting crops, routine

work, personal retreat, seminars, marriages and other sacraments

Modesty & Reserve

Interactions in public between men and women are generally more restrained

in Asian culture than in Western culture. For the most part, men socialize

with men, and women with women. Men never touch women in public, such

as helping a woman

out of a car, unless the lady is very elderly or infirm. In

the temple (see art), women worship on the left, and men on the right.

HIndu Clothing: Traditional Hindu attire is modest and dignified, elegant yet

never enticing, worn by staunch Hindus always at home, in the temple and at

religious or cultural events. Women wear rich costumes and jewelry for religious

and cultural events. They never expose breasts, navel or thighs.

Chastity: Sexual purity is a cardinal virtue, controlling lust by remaining celibate

when single and faithful in marriage. Boys and girls are taught to value

and protect their chastity as a sacred treasure, and to save the special gift of

intimacy for their future spouse.

Chaperoning: Parents chaperone and monitor friendships of sons and daughters,

closely guiding the private and social life of their children and teaching them

the importance of wholesome companionship. Dating is traditionally not permitted,

and marriages are arranged to ensure the most auspicious match.

Fidelity: Sexual/psychic energies are carefully directed and contained in the

close-knit family. The wife’s duty is to give her energy to her husband and make

him strong. The husband protects and provides for the family. Children give their

energy to their parents, their first gurus, obey and heed their good example.

Displaying Affection: Married couples in Asia do not hug, hold hands or kiss in

public. Even embracing at airports and train stations is out of the question.

Propriety: It is improper to praise the beauty of another man’s wife (or daughter)

lest one inadvertently suggest an improper interest in her. All older women

are viewed as one’s mother and younger women as a sister. Also, one does not

praise the beauty of a child or infant, protecting young ones from jealousies.

Garlanding: Women do not garland men, and men do not garland women. Such

exchanges are restricted to the marriage ceremony. However, a woman can

garland her husband or her satguru.

Womanly Protocol

Women in Hindu society are held in the highest regard, far more respected

and protected, in truth, than in the West. This does not imply the kind of

equality or participation in public interactions that are common in the West.

A woman will often be given preferential treatment in India at such places

as ticket counters. At meals, though, the men are usually expected to go first.

Feminine refinements are expressed and protected through numerous customs,

including the following.

Modesty: The qualities traditionally most admired in Eastern women are shyness,

self-effacement and modesty of dress and deportment. Self-assertive or

bold tendencies are regarded with circumspection.

Mixed Company: In mixed company, Hindu women will keep in the background

and not participate freely in conversation. This, of course, differs among family

and close friends. When male guests are in the home, the women will appear

when it is proper. Visitors do not expect or ask to meet them.

Walking with Husband: The wife walks a step or two behind her husband, or, if

walking by his side, a step or two back, always giving him the lead. (In the West,

the opposite is often true.)

Serving Meals: At mealtime, women traditionally follow the ancient custom of

serving the men first before eating.

Chaperoning: It is customary for a woman leaving the home to always be accompanied,

generally by her husband, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, mother, daughter,

sister or another lady close to the family, or among a group of both men and

women. Women in traditional areas rarely even walk across the street alone,

unless they are older. Living alone, too, is unusual.

Moving in Public: Generally, it is considered improper for women to speak with

strangers on the street, much less strike up a casual conversation. Drinking or

smoking in public is viewed as a sign of moral laxity.

Shelter and Care: When away from home, husbands contact their wife each day

to express their love and inquire about her day.

Monthly Retreat: During their monthly period, Asian women do not prepare

food, attend social gatherings or attend the temple or home shrine.

Body Language

Hindus know that God is everywhere and in all things. This realization brings

dynamic contentment and appreciation for the fact that life is to be lived

joyously. This understanding is expressed in Hindu deportment, or “body language.”

Every movement of the body, the face, hands, eyes, mouth, head, etc.,

has a meaning. Children and newcomers to the culture are taught to adopt

refined body language and to become sensitive to the thoughts and feelings

of others, who may be “talking” even when not speaking.

Kindly Words and Countenance: Hindus strive to keep a pleasant expression on

their face, a gentle smile and a kind word for everyone they meet through the

day. They know in their heart of hearts that everything in the universe is in a

perfect state of evolution at every point in time.

Care in Sitting: It is a grave insult to sit with one’s legs outstretched toward a

temple, a shrine or altar, or another person. One never sits higher than elders or

holy persons. Worshiping in the kneeling pose is not acceptable among Hindus.

Youths follow the example of traditional elders.

Gestures of Humility: As stated in scripture, humility is strength not a weakness,

pride is a weakness, not a strength. For example, orthodox Hindus will

place their hand in front of their mouth when speaking to another, especially an

elder, in a gesture of respect. Humility is expressed in ways of standing, sitting,

listening, greeting others and more.

Prideful Postures: Prideful postures are to be avoided, such as sitting with

one foot placed on the opposite thigh, or with arms folded or chin held exceedingly

high, or with hands on the hips with head cocked to the side. These

gestures are signs of arrogance and a superiority complex.

Pointing: Pointing with the forefinger of the right hand (or shaking the forefinger

in emphasis) is never done. This is because the right hand possesses a

powerful, aggressive pranic force. Pointing the index finger channels that force

into a single stream. The harshness of this energy would be felt in the nerve

system of the recipient. To show direction or emphasis, the entire hand is used

as a pointer, with the palm up and the thumb held alongside the forefinger

Purity & Pollution

Purity and its opposite, pollution, are a fundamental part of Asian culture.

While they imply a strong sense of physical cleanliness, their more important

meanings extend to social, ceremonial, mental, emotional, psychic and spiritual

contamination. Here are several ways purity is preserved.

Cleanliness: Hindus keep their home environment clean and uncluttered to create

a strong spiritual vibration and not attract negative forces. They seek fresh

air and sunshine and surround themselves with beauty.

Personal Health: Hindus keep strong and healthy through a balanced ayurvedic

diet, moderate daily exercise, hatha yoga and vigorous work.

Well-being: Mental and spiritual purity is maintained through daily meditation

and worship, scriptural study, right living and right thinking.

Purity and Food: In a market, one does not touch food one doesn’t intend to buy.

One cooking food for others would never taste of a dish and then put the spoon

back in the pot. One does not touch the lips to a water vessel used by others, nor

lick postage stamps or offer to another food one has partaken of.

Sanctified Food Leavings: The opposite is true in the case of the satguru’s food

leavings. Food that the guru has tasted of is revered as sacred. This, and the

water from the washing of the holy feet, is sought after and imbibed by devotees

for the great spiritual blessings that it contains toward moksha.

Offerings: One does not sniff flowers picked for offering—even the smell is for

the Gods, not for us. Flowers that fall to the ground should not be offered. Offerings

are carried with both hands on the right side of the body, so as to not be

breathed on. All items are washed in preparation, then wrapped or covered.

The Left Hand: The left hand is considered impure because it is used for personal

hygiene by washing after answering the call of nature. Handing another

person anything with the left hand is considered a subtle insult.

Footwear: Shoes, being impure, are not worn inside the temple or home.

Carrying shoes is also avoided. One apologizes immediately if one’s footwear

touches another. This is done by touching the right hand to where the

foot touched the other person, then touching the hand lightly to the left eye

and then the right

 




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