Profound self-confidence is exemplified when   

a child is confronted with a difficult task

and his first response is the certainty

that he can accomplish it. Unfortunately,

many children reach adulthood

lacking self-confidence and have as

their first response the feeling that

they will be unable to accomplish

the task, as it is too difficult. How

is profound self-confidence cultivated?

Firstly, through being sure the

child possesses a positive self-concept.

Secondly, through helping the child be

repetitively successful at progressively more

difficult tasks as he or she grows up. A pattern of many successes

going into our subconscious mind is what produces

the sense of self-confidence and the feeling that we will be

equal to any task. For example, a father teaches his son carpentry

from age ten through eighteen. Each year the father

helps the son make something that is more complex, never

giving him a project that is too advanced, praising each

achievement. Self-confidence is cultivated by watching for

failures at school or at home and compensating for them. If

the child is shy and has trouble at school with public speaking,

work personally or through a tutor to overcome that

shyness so he or she can speak comfortably before groups of

people in any situ tat ion. Self-confidence makes developing

youth magnetic to success in both outer and inner endeavors.

develop a playful self-contentment

Playful self-contentment is expressed when

a child’s usual mood is fun-loving, happy

and satisfied. How is this developed?

It is through the parents’ living and

verbalizing the philosophy that life

is meant to be lived joyously. It is by

holding the perspective that happiness

does not depend on external

circumstances but is a consciousness

we can claim, whether life is

free of or filled with challenges. It is

by teaching the children to be satisfied

with what they have in the present

rather than dissatisfied about what

they don’t have. It is nurtured by the family spending time

together filled with play and laughter. The ability to remain

playful, joyful, secure and content enables one to face with

far greater equanimity the ups and downs of life. Gurudeva

described the contentment, santosha, that we should teach

children: “True santosha is seeing all-pervasiveness of the

one divine power everywhere. The light within the eyes of

each person is that divine power. With this in mind, you can

go anywhere and do anything. Contentment is there, inside

you, and needs to be brought out. It is a spiritual power. So,

yes, do what makes you content. But know that contentment

really transcends worrying about the challenges that face

you. Santosha is being peaceful in any situation. The stronger

you are in santosha, the greater the challenges you can face.”

develop a pious character

Pious character is evident when we naturally

treat others with kindness, generosity and

appreciation. It is fulfilled when we seek

the blessings of God, Gods and guru

throughout life. How can this be cultivated

in children? It is through the

parents’ demonstrating these qualities

themselves: children learn that

this behavior is expected of them

by observing their parents’ actions.

It is by referring often to the ten

observances (niyamas) of Hinduism’s

Code of Conduct and pointing out their

relevance in daily life, on TV and in movies.

The niyamas are remorse, contentment, giving, faith, worship

of the Lord, scriptural listening, cognition, sacred vows,

recitation and austerity. Pious character is nurtured by teaching

the child to worship and pray in the home shrine or at

the temple before important events, such as beginning a

new school year or before final examinations. Pious conduct

brings into our children’s lives the joys of divine blessings.

Gurudeva outlined the ideal: “Hindu children are always

treated with great respect and awe, for one does not always

know who they are. They may be incarnations of a grandmother,

grandfather, aunt or uncle, dearly beloved mother,

sister, brother, respected father, a yogi or rishi returned to

flesh to help mankind spiritually. We must ask, ‘Who are

these souls? What is their destiny in this life? How can I help?’ “

develop proficiency in conflict resolution

Proficiency in conflict resolution is exemplified

when we work out disagreements with

others by using intelligence and seeking

for a win-win situation. How is this

cultivated in youth? It is through the

parents’ demonstrating these qualities

themselves: children learn that

this behavior is expected of them by

observing their parents’ actions. It

is by sitting down with children any

time they use anger, physical force or

verbal injury to prevail in a conflict and

discussing with them how it could have

been settled with intelligence rather than

violence. It is through replacing the idea of “I want me to

win and you to lose” with that of “I win when everybody

wins.” Kids can learn from parents that it is through taking a

humble attitude, rather than a dominant position, that conflicts

are resolved smoothly and easily. Illustrations of what

to do and what not to do can be drawn from the people

they see in television and movies. Proficiency in conflict

resolution is nurtured by parents’ following the wisdom

of resolving their husband-and-wife disagreements before

going to sleep, as this teaches by example the importance

of facing and solving a conflict rather than fleeing from it.

Mastery of resolving differences keeps our young one’s lives

sublime and their subconscious minds free of the disturbances

caused by memories of unresolved disagreements.

develop parental closeness

Parental closeness finds fulfillment when

children reach adulthood and choose to

spend time with their parents because

they really enjoy being with them. A

strong bond of love and understanding

exists. Sadly, the opposite is

often the case. How then is parental

closeness developed? It is through

expressing love by hugging and saying

often the three magic words “I

love you.” Distance is developed by

never expressing love. Closeness is nurtured

by correcting a child’s misbehavior

with positive discipline methods, such as

time-out and appropriate, natural and logical consequences.

The use of physical violence, anger, irrational punishments,

blame and shame cause distance. Closeness comes when

quality time is spent together in activities that all members

of the family enjoy. It is developed by the father’s binding

with his sons and the mother’s binding with her daughters,

through developing common interests in hobbies or games

and working on them together. It is protected when parents

create in the home a nonthreatening atmosphere of love in

which their children feel free to tell them everything they

have done without fear of the consequences. They know

their parents love them, no matter what. A loving parental

closeness is powerfully reflected in all subsequent relationships

children develop, even their relationship with God.

develop a prejudice-free consciousness

Prejudice-free consciousness manifests when

we see God in everyone and embrace differences

of ethnic background and religion.

Are we born with prejudices?

Absolutely not! These are all learned,

at home, at school and elsewhere.

How is a prejudice-free consciousness

developed? It is through teaching

our children that the whole

world is our family and all human

beings are divine beings. It is through

complete avoidance of remarks that

are racially or religiously prejudiced. It

is through discussing with our children any

prejudice they hear from others at school and elsewhere and

correcting it. It is by teaching children to avoid generalizations

about people and, instead, to think about specific individuals

and the qualities they have. Television and movies

can provide useful situations to discuss. It is through having

our children meet, interact and learn to feel comfortable with

children of other ethnicities and religions. Tolerant individuals

help communities function with less friction and misunderstanding.

Gurudeva teaches us: “Every belief creates certain

attitudes. Our attitudes govern all of our actions. Belief

in karma, reincarnation and the existence of an all-pervasive

Divinity throughout the universe creates an attitude of reverence,

benevolence and compassion for all beings. The natural

consequence of this belief is ahimsa, nonhurtfulness.”

 

(The Blog  is reverently for all the seekers of truth, lovers of wisdom and   to sharethe Hindu Dharma with others on the spiritual path and also this is purely  a non-commercial)