Hindu Samskriti – Raising Children As Good Hindus -4
Posted in Labels: Hindu Samskriti – Raising Children As Good Hindus -4
Raising Children
As
Good Hindus
Meditation
is the fourth category.
Meditation is also called raja yoga, or
ashtanga yoga as it consists of
eight limbs. The practice of meditation
begins with asana—sitting
quietly in yogic posture—and pranayama,
breath control. Pratyahara,
sense withdrawal, brings awareness into dharana,
concentration,
then into dhyana, meditation. Dhyana finally
leads to samadhi,
God Realization. Jnana yoga
is also a type of meditation that involves
philosophical study and discrimination
between the Real
and the unreal. Children can follow the first
phases of meditation
for short periods, learning to sit in lotus
posture, to breathe
diaphragmatically and to quiet their mind and
emotions through
attention and concentration. When they are
more mature, you can
take them to a swami or yoga teacher to learn
the deeper aspects.
PART SIX
TEACH children HOW TO LIV E
POSITIVELY IN THE WORLD.
Train children that the world is a positive
place filled with opportunities for growth.
The world in this sense refers to the arena
of life, including where
we interact with people the most, such as the
home, school and our place of work. In
Western
thought these are not considered spiritual
places. However, in Hinduism they are. There
is
no sharp distinction between the sacred and
the
secular. In the words of our paramaguru, Siva
Yogaswami, “The world is an ashram—a training
ground for the achievement of moksha.”
What is it that transforms the world from a
secular place into a spiritual one? It is the
understanding
that it is through the process of
experiencing life that we unfold spiritually.
It
is the knowing that through fulfilling our
natural
duties, honestly and to the best of our
ability,
we make spiritual progress. Why? Through
interacting with others, we learn important
lessons
and, as a result, gradually deepen our
understanding,
improve our behavior and become
more spiritual. In the process, we work
through
karmas we created in the past and create new
karmas to be faced in the future. Our daily
activities,
encounters and emotional reactions contribute
to our spiritual progress just as much as
attending pujas in the temple, studying the
holy
texts, meditating and worshiping in our home
shrine. Paramaguru Yogaswami captured the
essence
of this perspective when he said, “All work
must be done with the aim of reaching God.”
Teach that life is a classroom
in which we learn important lessons.
Life is a process of learning through trial
and error and thereby
advancing spiritually. Gurudeva has an
insightful explanation of
this process: “Life is a series of
experiences, one after another.
Each experience can be looked at as a
classroom in the big university
of life if we only approach it that way. Who
is going to these
classrooms? Who is the member of this
university of life? It’s not
your instinctive mind. It’s not your
intellectual mind. It’s the body
of your soul, your superconscious self, that
wonderful body of light.
It’s maturing under the stress and strain.”
Children live much of their day learning,
often in a classroom,
so the idea that all of life is a school for
our soul will come easily
to them, and it will teach them to value
lessons wherever they
come from.
Teach about the three great powers:
desire, action and wisdom.
Important insights into the soul’s maturing
process can be gained by looking at the three
shaktis of
God—iccha, the power of desire,
kriya, the
power of action and jnana,
the
power of wisdom—which are also the three
powers of the soul. We first have a desire,
and
when the desire becomes strong enough we
act. In young souls the action may be
ill-conceived
and wrongful, or adharmic, lacking in
wisdom. For example, we want a computer, so
we simply steal one. We need money, so we
borrow with no intention to repay. The soul
is repeating a cycle of similar experiences,
moving back and forth from desire to action,
desire to action.
In the case of the adharmic action of
stealing,
eventually the soul will learn the lesson
that theft is not the best way to get what we
need or want. This may come from the
difficult
experience of being caught, or by seeing
the suffering our actions cause in others.
Such
learning is the jnana shakti, soulful wisdom,
coming forth and causing one’s behavior to
improve. This process works for virtuous, or
dharmic, actions as well. For example, we
volunteer
at the temple to teach children’s classes
once a month. We are uplifted by the feeling
that helping others gives us and decide to
help
out every week and even participate in
meetings to plan out the
classes. Selfless action and the reaction it
has on us brings an inner
joy. Therefore, jnana guides
us to decide to undertake even more
service and thus feel more joyful. We have
again improved our
behavior. If children are taught about these
three basic forces at
work in their life, they will seek to
understand desire, think about
action and strive for wisdom.
cultivate nine spiritual qualities
Parents can consciously and systematically develop key
qualities in their children that will help
them to be happy, religious and successful when they
reach adulthood. A wise mother wrote to
me once on e-mail saying, “I truly believe we live out
part of our karma through our children, and
we grow and improve as they do.” Though parents may think
they are just helping their children
be more happy, successful and religious, in truth parents
cannot separate themselves from their
children. The child’s growth and spiritual evolution is
the parents’ as well. There are nine key qualities
we want our children to possess. We will explore each of
these to see what children should be
taught, or not taught, by parents to develop that
quality. The nine qualities are:
Positive Self-Concept
Perceptive Self-Correction
Powerful Self-Control
Profound Self-Confidence
Playful Self-Contentment
Pious Character
Proficiency in Conflict Resolution
Parental Closeness
Prejudice-Free Consciousness
develop a positive self-concept
A positive self-concept arises when we
think of ourselves as a worthy individual
deserving of a wonderful life. How
is this accomplished? It is through
being generous with your praise
and appreciation, making children
know they are loved and valued,
that who they are makes a difference
and life is full of promise.
Unfortunately, many children reach
adulthood with a negative self-concept,
feeling that others are better
than they are and life has little to offer. A
negative self-concept is developed through
verbally running down a child through teasing, joking or
insulting remarks. This, of course, needs to be stopped
and
replaced with encouragement and praise. When it comes
to correcting misbehavior, it is wise to distinguish
between
the person and the behavior. The behavior was foolish,
not
the person. For example, you can tell your children when
they misbehave, “What you did was very foolish, but you
are
smart, and I’m sure you now know better and won’t do that
again.” Parents should also not allow their children to
call
each other names, such as “fat” or “lame.” Having a
positive
concept about one’s outer self allows the child to accept
the
Hindu teaching that one’s inner self is a divine being, a
radiant
soul. My Gurudeva wrote: “Praise your children. Celebrate
their Divinity. Enjoy them and enjoy good times with them
.”
develop perceptive self-correction
Perceptive self-correction
is evident when
we are able to quickly learn
the lesson
from each experience and
resolve not
to repeat our mistakes. How
do parents
develop this quality in
children?
By teaching them that making
mistakes
is not bad. Everyone makes
mistakes. It is natural and
simply
shows we do not understand
something.
It is important for the parent
to determine what
understanding the
child lacks and teach it to
him without
blame. When parents
discipline through
natural and logical
consequences, children
are encouraged to learn to
reflect on the possible effects of
their behavior before
acting. Such wisdom can be nurtured
through encouraging
self-reflection by asking the child to
think about what he did and
how he could avoid making that
mistake again. Perceptive
self-correction enables young ones
to quickly learn from their
inevitable mistakes, refine their
still-developing behavior
accordingly and thereby make more
rapid progress on the
spiritual path. Gurudeva observed:
“Children are entrusted to
their parents to be loved, guided
and protected, for they are
the future of the future. However,
children can be a challenge
to raise up into good citizenship.
There are many positive ways
to guide them, such as hugging,
kindness, time spent
explaining, giving wise direction
and setting the example of
what you want them to become.”
develop
powerful self-control
Powerful self-control is the ability to
restrain
destructive emotions, such as anger, when
we are tempted to express them. How is
such control cultivated in children? It is
through parents’ never expressing such
emotions themselves: children learn,
by observing their parents, whether
it’s acceptable to behave emotionally
or not. It is by referring often to the
ten restraints (yamas) of Hinduism’s
Code of Conduct, finding illustrations of
these ideals in daily life, on television and
in movies. The yamas
are noninjury, truthfulness,
nonstealing, divine conduct, patience,
steadfastness, compassion, honesty, moderate appetite
and purity. Self-control is also cultivated through
emphasizing,
from an early age, the traditional Hindu imperative
to maintain chastity until marriage. Self-control leads
to
self-mastery, enabling one to be more successful in
achieving
outer and inner goals. Gurudeva noted: “Children who
see their mother and father working out their differences
in
mature discussion or in the shrine room through prayer
and
meditation are at that moment given permission to do the
same in their own life when they are older. They become
the elite of society, the pillars of strength to the
community
during times of stress and hardship. These children,
when older, will surely uphold the principles of dharma
and will not succumb to the
temptations of the lower mind.”
Om Tat Sat
(Continued...)
(My
humble salutations to Sadguru Sri Sivaya
Subramuniyaswami
ji, Hinduism Today dot com for the collection)
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