Chapter Thirteen
Mother Yaçodå Binds K®ß√a
sa måtu˙ svinna-gåtråya
visrasta-kavara-sraja˙
d®ß†vå pariçramaμ k®ß√a˙
k®payåsît sva-bandhane
Çrîmad-Bhågavatam (10.9.18); B®had-bhågavatåm®ta
(2.7.129)
When K®ß√a saw Yaçodå labouring so
desperately that her whole
body was dripping with perspiration and
the flower garland that
was entwined in her hair braid was falling
down, He mercifully
allowed Himself to be bound by her.
Sanåtana Gosvåmî says that in describing
the life of Yaçodå,
Çukadeva Gosvåmî became joyful and astonished.
The våtsalya of
Yaçodå is more special than anyone else’s,
and even more special
than Nanda’s because K®ß√a is not
completely overpowered by
anyone else’s parental affection the way
He is by hers. K®ß√a is
the one who unties the bindings of this
material universe, even
for those who approach Him in the mood of
an enemy. He is the
giver of the five types of mukti,
liberation: sålokya (residing on
the same planet as the Lord), såmîpya (becoming
His personal
associate), sårüpya (obtaining a spiritual
form similar to His),
sår߆i (obtaining opulence similar to His)
and såyujya (merging
into His effulgence). Over and above these
He gives the special
type of liberation known as prema. That prema
He gave even to
Pütanå, who approached Him in the guise of
a mother to kill
137
Him. She was given a motherly position in
Goloka even though
she was an enemy, and her relatives
Aghåsura and Bakåsura, even
though they were also enemies, were given sålokya.
Yet here we
find that very giver of liberation Himself
being bound by Yaçodå;
just see what a pastime this is!
Outside her house beneath a large pot
filled with milk, Yaçodå
lit a fire fuelled by cow-dung, and the
smoke was rising in all
directions. Then she returned to churning
butter. It was early
morning, the day after Dîpåvalî, and while
going about their
morning duties, all of the household
servants were remembering
and singing about K®ß√a’s pastimes. At
that time K®ß√a woke up,
and not seeing His mother, He got up from His
bed and began
crying loudly. When Yaçodå looked over and
saw the small,
naked boy, she took Him in her lap and
began to feed Him milk.
At that time, she felt such strong waves
of spiritual ecstasy that
tears fell from her eyes and milk came to
her breasts. There was
not even any need for K®ß√a to suck the
milk out; automatically
it flowed and K®ß√a drank without effort.
Meanwhile Yaçodå saw that the milk she had
placed on the fire
was boiling over, so she immediately got
up and ran there. Before
she wanted only to take K®ß√a in her lap
and feed Him, yet now
her immediate concern was the milk – it
was boiling over and
would not wait. At that moment she was not
thinking about
whether K®ß√a was satisfied or not, and
even though K®ß√a was
grasping her with both His hands and His
mouth, leaving Him
behind she got up to see to the milk. The
powerful råkßasî Pütanå
tried desperately to escape the grasp of
that same K®ß√a, but
could not. She even flew into the sky and
tried to fly back to
Mathurå, but K®ß√a clutched her breast
with such ferocity that
she fell to the ground. Effortlessly K®ß√a
was able to hold onto
Pütanå, yet when K®ß√a desired that “Mother
will not leave Me!”
and He even applied all of His çakti,
still she went to look after
138 Bhakti-rasåyana
the milk and left Him sitting there.
Becoming very angry, K®ß√a
began crying and His eyes became red.
Biting His lip as children
do, He thought, “Mother left Me and didn’t
feed Me milk?” and
He picked up a stone and broke the butter
pot.
Yaçodå was saying to the milk, “Don’t boil
over! I need you to
prepare sweets for K®ß√a!” But the milk
may have been feeling,
“What do you need me for? What is the
nature of K®ß√a’s stomach?
It can never really be filled. But neither
can your milk supply
ever be exhausted; K®ß√a could keep
drinking it forever and
it would never run out. Therefore my own
life is worthless. If
I will never be able to satisfy K®ß√a,
then I will give up my life by
boiling over into the fire.”
Seeing that the milk had risen and was
boiling over, Yaçodå
said to it, “Don’t give up your life! I
need you to prepare sweets
for K®ß√a!” After sprinkling some water on
the milk to prevent it
from boiling over, Yaçodå returned and
found the broken butter
pot. Not seeing K®ß√a, she searched and
searched until she
noticed His footprints leading in the
direction of the house, and
she laughed to herself as she saw Him
feeding some yoghurt to
the monkeys and taking some Himself. She
thought, “K®ß√a is a
real friend of these monkeys! I should
discipline Him for this, but
it would spoil the fun. And besides, until
now I have not done such
a thing.” So laughing a little, she picked
up a stick to frighten
Him and quietly hid so He wouldn’t know
she was watching. She
thought, “If He looks this way and comes
to know that I am
watching, then I will have to at once run
to catch Him.” And
K®ß√a was also alert, thinking, “If Mother
or anyone comes, I must
run away at once.”
Yaçodå saw that there was a group of crows
there along with
the monkeys. All of them were previously
in råma-lîlå – the crows
were from the dynasty of Kåkabhuça√∂i, and
the monkeys were
from the dynasty of Hanumån and Sugrîva.
K®ß√a was indebted
Chapter Thirteen 139
to all of them, so He was feeding them.
The crows were below
catching the drops of yoghurt that fell to
the ground, and the
monkeys were beside K®ß√a taking the
yoghurt directly with their
hands. At first she laughed, but then,
very slowly, like a cat, she
approached Him, and He – whose very name
pushes away the
influence of måyå for the people of this
world and saves them
from seeing the Yamadütas – looked at her
with fearful eyes.
Who could He be afraid of? Was He afraid
of Kaμsa? Some say
that He went to Gokula out of fear of Kaμsa,
but really He went
there to taste prema. He is never afraid
of anyone, yet upon seeing
Yaçodå, He jumped down and ran off.
Yaçodå ran after Him, and we also desire
to catch Bhagavån by
our bhakti, yet unlike her, we cannot
catch Him. “So many days
have passed, and every day I have engaged
in chanting harinåma.
Yet as of today I still have no direct
experience of Bhagavån. My
heart has not melted and I have never shed
tears for Him, and
I have never felt ecstasy while chanting
the holy name. How will
my heart become changed? I can see no
light at the end of the
tunnel or anything. How will I ever attain
bhakti?” We should
consider these things. As long as even a
little mundane vision
remains within us, we won’t be able to
catch Him. By realisation
of the subtle plane we won’t catch Him,
and by realisation of the
nirgu√a plane we won’t catch Him. Our
mentality must be like
that of the Vrajavåsîs such as Yaçodå and
the other gopîs, and then
we will be able to catch Him; otherwise
not. But we are also running
after Him; we also possess some eagerness.
Perhaps we have
performed some sacrifice in the service of
our spiritual master
and when we hear hari-kathå we get some
devotional feelings, but
do we possess that prema which overpowers
Bhagavån? Even the
pure-hearted yogîs in their samådhi cannot
catch a glimpse of the
Lord’s shadow!
Yaçodå is really giving chase to K®ß√a –
on foot, not by the
140 Bhakti-rasåyana
speed of mind. That is another thing. She
is not pursuing Him
by the speed of mind but on foot, and
trying to catch K®ß√a in
His manifest form. Sometimes she would
come near Him, and
again He would give her the slip, and like
this He was playing
with His mother. If we possessed such bhakti
by which we could
come near K®ß√a, then would it be easy to
catch Him? It would
still be very difficult. Even in “coming
near Him”, how far away
would we still be? Even though He is
always near, present inside
our hearts, we are not seeing Him there.
Yaçodå sees Him, chases
after Him, and catches Him, but what about
us? We don’t perform
the required sådhana or bhajana to catch
Him. We will only
catch Him when we have sufficient
eagerness within us, but first
the urges for mundane pleasure must be
completely forgotten.
K®ß√a is running and Yaçodå is also
running, but she will have to
run twice as fast as K®ß√a to catch Him.
Sugrîva’s brother Våli worshipped the
sun-god Sürya by performing
austerities, and then Sürya appeared
before him and
asked, “What boon do you desire?” Våli
said, “I desire the boon
that whenever anyone comes before me to
fight, I will keep all of
my own strength and also take half of my
opponent’s strength.”
One day after having received this boon,
Våli was at a river offering
püjå to Süryadeva when the demon Råva√a
approached him.
Råva√a thought that he was the strongest
person in the entire
universe, and with his twenty hands began
disturbing Våli by
splashing water on him. But Våli simply
continued offering his
püjå with only one hand and with the other
he grabbed hold of
Råva√a and held him underneath his armpit.
Våli didn’t even
look at Råva√a, like one who has killed a
mosquito on his back.
Besides Bhagavån no one could kill Våli,
and even then,
Bhagavån had to use some trickery to kill
him. Råma killed him
from a hidden position. Otherwise, if He
had gone before Våli,
Våli would have taken half of His strength
and Råma would have
Chapter Thirteen 141
also been defeated! In a similar way, we
can see that for catching
K®ß√a, double speed is necessary; then He
can be caught. “Double
speed” means that our own sincere efforts
must be there, and
K®ß√a’s mercy must also be upon us. He
loves all jîvas, but we
must love Him twice as much, and then we
can catch Him.
Sometimes K®ß√a remembers His own bhagavattå
(nature as
the Supreme), but all the time Yaçodå
loves Him with the idea
that He is merely an ordinary child, and
she gives her everything
to Him. In this stage of prema there may
appear to be even more
affection for the beloved’s possessions
than for the beloved himself.
We may have great devotion to our father,
but then if we put
on our father’s sandals and wear them
ourselves, is that real devotion,
or not? We should respect the sandals of
our father as much
as we respect him, just as Bharata served
the wooden sandals of
Råmacandra. That is the correct outlook,
that is really prema. But
if we are indifferent to the possessions
of our beloved that is not
prema, and if we use them for our own
enjoyment that is not
prema. K®ß√a’s cloth, His flute, His toys,
milk and butter that are
meant for Him – a real devotee will
sometimes appear to have
more love for these things because they
are dear to K®ß√a.
With great love Yaçodå feeds K®ß√a milk,
so does she have
more affection for K®ß√a Himself, or for
the milk? Of course for
K®ß√a, but if the milk becomes spoiled in
some way, she will
be very upset. She thinks, “If K®ß√a takes
this milk, He will live
a long, healthy life. From this milk I
will make sandeça, rabarî,
khîra, malpura and so many delectable
preparations to feed
K®ß√a.” At other times, when Mother Yaçodå
makes K®ß√a some
beautiful new silken clothes and after
dressing Him in them He
goes outside and plays in some nearby mud,
then, seeing Him,
Yaçodå says, “Hey! Look what you’ve done
to Your new clothes!”
Then K®ß√a thinks, “Does Mother have more
love for Me, or for
My clothes?” Therefore devotees may
sometimes show even more
142 Bhakti-rasåyana
regard for K®ß√a’s paraphernalia than for
K®ß√a Himself; that is
one symptom of prema. And what are K®ß√a’s
dearest possessions
but His devotees? This is why even after
performing bhajana for
thousands of lifetimes those who don’t
respect His devotees will
attain absolutely nothing.
Therefore Yaçodå went to protect the milk
so that it would not
be wasted, and when K®ß√a broke the butter
pot, she ran after
Him to correct Him. Lifting her stick, she
said, “All right – now
I will hit You!”
Frightened, K®ß√a replied, “Mother, don’t
hit Me!”
“Tell me then – why did You break the pot?”
“I didn’t break it!”
“Then who did?”
“You must have accidentally broken it as
you ran by! You were
not completely to your senses!”
Then Yaçodå became more angry and said, “And
why are You
stealing? There are no thieves on my side
of the family! You are
the only thief in our family!” Again K®ß√a
ran off, and again she
lifted up her stick and chased Him. As she
was running, her hair
loosened and she was becoming fatigued,
but she was determined
to catch Him. Finally with the help of
some of the household
servants He was caught, and she brought
Him inside the house.
“Now shall I hit You, restless friend of
the monkeys? You steal
from the homes of others as well as Your
own house! Do You
think that’s good?”
K®ß√a replied, “Mother, don’t hit Me!
There is no purpose in
hitting Me!”
So she put down the stick and said, “All
right, I will bind You
instead.” So she took the rope from her
loosened hair and tried
to bind Him. His thin waist was so nicely
decorated with golden
ornaments, and applying the rope to it,
she found that the rope
was short. She said to the gopîs, “Bring
more rope!” But even
Chapter Thirteen 143
upon more rope being added, K®ß√a still
could not be bound.
Yogamåyå saw that, “My master does not
desire to be bound
now.” Therefore K®ß√a’s waist remained the
same size, but by the
influence of Yogamåyå the rope was always
two finger lengths
short. Because she still did not have
sufficient determination,
Yaçodå couldn’t wrap it all the way around
even once, and everyone
was astonished.
What difficulty should there be in binding
such a thin waist?
It is like those of us who are presently
practising sådhana-bhajana.
In general we believe that Bhagavån is
very merciful, but sometimes
our faith becomes weak. “Is there really
so much çakti in
the name of Bhagavån, or not? Can it
really bestow bhakti, or
not? Will I ever meet Bhagavån?” If in the
midst of the process of
chanting harinåma all of one’s difficulties
are not eradicated, he
may begin to think, “Is Bhagavån there, or
not?” He may feel that
he has attained nothing, that his
unhappiness has not been
mitigated, his poverty has not been
eradicated, and after doing
bhajana his whole life, he may merely die
crying in disappointment.
Rather we should continue chanting with
such good
quality faith that we will always be
thinking, “My endeavour will
certainly be successful.”
But sometimes our determination is not
firm, and many
sådhakas fall into the trap of again
becoming involved in enjoying
måyå, thinking, “I will work hard, make
lots of money, build
a house and live comfortably,” but they
forget that one day they
will have to die and leave it all behind.
At first Yaçodå thought
that she would easily wrap the rope around
K®ß√a’s waist, but did
it happen? Similarly, when we first take
up devotional life we
think that attaining Bhagavån will not be
difficult; but recognising
the reality of it, we should never become
despondent. Many
devotees become despondent, but we should
always remain eager
and determined.
144 Bhakti-rasåyana
After some time, the gopîs were
wonderstruck, and especially
Yaçodå’s astonishment knew no limit as
they saw that thousands
of ropes had been joined together but
still this small child could
not be bound. Yaçodå thought, “From early
morning until now
I have been trying to bind Him! The rope
has become so long,
and still it won’t wrap around Him even
once. Every time it is two
finger lengths short. Not one, three, four
or five finger lengths
short, but every time it is precisely two
finger lengths short! Why
is this?”
There were two reasons for the rope being
short. First,
Yogamåyå saw that K®ß√a did not desire to
be bound, so K®ß√a’s
sanction was not present, and second,
there was not sufficient
eagerness in Yaçodå. There is the mercy of
K®ß√a and a devotee’s
eagerness for bhajana. When they both come
together, one will
meet Bhagavån and overpower Him with prema.
As long as
Yaçodå was not sufficiently eager, she
could not bind Him. But
then she became more determined, thinking,
“This is my own
small child, and standing before all of my
friends I am unable to
bind Him? Now I will certainly bind Him,
or else I might as well
give up my life!” She began perspiring and
her face became red,
and k®payåsît sva-bandhane – seeing her
endeavour to bind Him,
K®ß√a’s heart melted. The influence of
Yogamåyå withdrew, and
at last He allowed her to bind Him.
Sanåtana Gosvåmî says here that there are
two types of
devotees: those who desire to attain
Bhagavån by the practice of
sådhana-bhajana, and those who rely solely
on K®ß√a’s mercy.
Mahåprabhu said that both are necessary.
Kittens don’t need to
make any effort; the cat feeds them and
nurtures them and carries
them everywhere in her mouth, and all the
kittens do all day and
night is merely cry “meow, meow”. But baby
monkeys have to
hold onto their mothers themselves;
otherwise they will be finished.
When the mother is ready to cross from one
roof or tree to
Chapter Thirteen 145
another, at once the baby monkey runs over
and holds on around
her stomach or on her back and is carried
across. She never grabs
the babies herself, and if they don’t grab
onto her, she goes
without them, thinking, “What good are such
useless offspring
anyway?”
So which is the primary consideration here
concerning sådhana
or k®på, mercy? Mahåprabhu said that both
are essential. No one
can actually bind Bhagavån by the strength
of their sådhana, but
by endeavouring more and more until such
great determination
comes that all of one’s bodily needs and
worldly attachments are
forgotten, then Bhagavån’s heart will melt
and He will bestow
special mercy. Bhagavån’s k®på is upon all
living entities at all
times, but not that special mercy by which
He can actually be
bound. He only gives that upon seeing the
intense endeavour of
His devotees, like the renunciation of
Raghunåtha dåsa Gosvåmî.
How did he perform bhajana, day and night?
The Six Gosvåmîs
would live outdoors in the jungle, such as
at Nandagråma, or near
Påvana-sarovara, where a cool breeze is
always blowing. They
would reside beneath trees, and nearby
were snakes, scorpions
and many different kinds of jungle
animals. They ate very little
and performed extremely strict bhajana.
By that kind of bhajana one can meet
Bhagavån, but where is
such strictness and intensity in our bhajana?
With great comfort
we are eating and drinking, and we possess
quilts, pillows and
shawls. On cold days we have plenty of hot
food to eat, and there
is never any deficiency in our sleeping.
Therefore Bhagavån’s
mercy is upon us, the mercy of the Vaiß√avas
is upon us, but it is
our misfortune that we don’t have the same
intensity as the Six
Gosvåmîs.
Wonderstruck and experiencing ecstatic
symptoms in his
description of the glories of Yaçodå, next
Çukadeva Gosvåmî
experienced these feelings arising in his
heart:
146 Bhakti-rasåyana
nemaμ viriñco na bhavo
na çrîr apy a∫ga-saμçrayå
prasådaμ lebhire gopî
yat tat pråpa vimuktidåt
Çrîmad-Bhågavatam (10.9.20); B®had-bhågavatåm®ta
(2.7.130)
Neither Brahmå, Çiva or even Lakßmî-devî –
who eternally resides
at K®ß√a’s chest in the form of a golden
line – have ever received
as much mercy as Yaçodå did from He who is
the bestower of
liberation.
Although being Bhagavån’s own son, still,
even Brahmå didn’t
attain as much mercy as Yaçodå did. Brahmå
was born from the
lotus of Bhagavån’s navel. Generally a
father is most munificent
to his son regardless of the son’s nature –
whether he is a criminal
or whatever. And usually the son is made
the father’s heir in all
respects, but even such a highly qualified
son as Brahmå did not
receive the mercy which Yaçodå did. Coming
to Vraja, Brahmå
saw, “First this offender Aghåsura tried
to swallow K®ß√a, and then
I saw K®ß√a give liberation to him! I saw
a light leave Aghåsura’s
body, fly up into the sky, and then merge
into K®ß√a’s feet! That
was no ordinary light; it was certainly
Aghåsura’s soul!”
Many were not able to recognise the divine
symptoms of K®ß√a
and only saw Him as an ordinary human
being. As K®ß√a prepared
to leave this world and return to Goloka
in His form as
Dvårakådhîça, what did the ordinary people
see? That K®ß√a was
shot by a hunter’s arrow, He began to
bleed and He died right
there. Others saw a light come out of K®ß√a’s
body and go into
the sky. Brahmå, Ça∫kara and others saw
K®ß√a return to Goloka
in His selfsame form as His eternal
associates offered Him prayers.
And what did the higher devotees of
Dvårakå see? That K®ß√a
didn’t go anywhere; He always remains in
Dvårakå. So according
to their different levels of inner
development, people saw Him in
different ways.
Chapter Thirteen 147
When Brahmå saw K®ß√a’s pastime of giving
liberation to
Aghåsura, he became very astonished and
thought, “How can
I see more pastimes like this?” Meanwhile,
K®ß√a remembered
that He wanted to Himself become all of
those cowherd boys and
calves, so here was the opportunity to
accomplish all of His
objectives in one pastime. In this pastime
He could marry all of
the gopîs, because if He had kept
relationships with them otherwise,
the people of mundane consciousness would
have criticised
Him. Next Yogamåyå sent inspiration into
the heart of Brahmå
and he thought, “Let me see what will
happen next if I steal the
cowherd boys and calves.”
In the end, seeing how K®ß√a Himself
expanded into all of the
cowherd boys and calves, how all of their
sticks and blankets and
everything appeared as four-armed Nåråya√as,
and how so many
demigods were offering them prayers, he became
wonderstruck
and immediately fell down like a stick at
K®ß√a’s feet. Then he
looked again, and everything had
disappeared, and only the original
form of K®ß√a remained, standing in His
threefold-bending
posture and smiling.
Na-bhava˙ – Ça∫kara also did not receive
as much mercy as
Yaçodå did. And who is Ça∫kara? He and
Hari are one and the
same soul. For the purpose of showing the
ideal standard of
worshipping Ça∫kara to the residents of
this world, K®ß√a once
worshipped Ça∫kara. Brahmå may become offended,
but Ça∫kara
never accepts any offence. And K®ß√a
assigns Ça∫kara very difficult
tasks, even up to bewildering the jîvas in
his incarnation as
Ça∫karåcårya and Ça∫kara always fulfils
those tasks. Therefore he
is certainly the recipient of K®ß√a’s mercy,
but not the prasåda,
the special mercy that is spoken of in
this verse.
Na çrî˙ – and not even Lakßmî, who always
resides at the
Lord’s chest and who performed austerities
and püjå at Baelvana,
received such mercy as Yaçodå did. Vimuktidåt
– K®ß√a is the
148 Bhakti-rasåyana
giver of liberation. He bestows upon some
the destination of
Vaikuàha, and upon others even the
destination of Goloka
V®ndåvana, but to Yaçodå He gave that
special mercy which was
not given to anyone else and by which He
Himself becomes
bound.
Chapter Thirteen 149
Chapter Fourteen
Pürva-råga, or Preliminary Attraction
gopînåμ paramånanda
åsîd govinda-darçane
kßa√aμ yuga-çatam iva
yåsåμ yena vinåbhavat
Çrîmad-Bhågavatam (10.19.16); B®had-bhågavatåm®ta
(2.7.133)
The vraja-gopîs would enjoy supreme
pleasure from receiving the
darçana of Çrî Govinda, but they would
consider even one
moment of His absence to be like one
hundred yugas.
K®ß√a and the sakhås had taken the cows
out to graze in the
Muñjåra√ya forest when a fire started, and
like a chariot driver
the wind carried that fire until it
surrounded the boys and cows
on all sides. Then the sakhås called out, “K®ß√a!
Baladeva! Save
us!” Seeing that they were threatened, K®ß√a
said, “Just close your
eyes!” and He opened His mouth and
consumed the fierce fire.
Then He told them that they could open
their eyes; if they had
witnessed His swallowing that great fire
they would have been
terrified. But the sakhås saw that
everything was just as it was
before and that the cows were calmly
resting under the Bhå√∂îra
tree. They thought, “How is it that we are
here? Everything was
just burning! Was that just a dream, or
was it real?” And then
they all began blissfully taking their
lunch together.
In the same way, when by the cultivation
of bhagavad-bhajana
151
and the mercy of the spiritual master and
Bhagavån we become
free from the burning suffering of the
material energy, we will
think, “Was it just a dream, or was it
real?” Upon the eradication
of that pain which had been tormenting us
since time immemorial,
we will think, “Where has it gone, as if
in the snap of
a finger? Was it real?” We really won’t be
able to remember.
After this K®ß√a led the cows back to
Vraja, and the gopîs were
thirsty for His darçana, and that is the
time being described in
this verse spoken by Çukadeva Gosvåmî.
When He came before
them, their ånanda increased. Although
they had not yet established
a relationship with Him through either
seeing Him or
hearing about Him, they were very
attracted to Him, and this
is called pürva-råga. It can exist in both
the vißaya, the supreme
object of love, K®ß√a, and in the åçraya,
the supreme receptacle of
love, the gopîs.
To feel this pürva-råga in the stage of sådhana
is not easy; the
pürva-råga that has been described in the
writings of Vidyåpati,
Ca√∂îdåsa and in the Gopî-gîta and other
places in the Çrîmad-
Bhågavatam cannot be attained by an
ordinary sådhaka. Only
when one has attained svarüpa-siddhi –
meaning when in the
stage of bhåva one attains perception of
his eternal identity – will
such restlessness for the sight of K®ß√a
be felt. Only a very few
devotees, like Bilvama∫gala, have felt
these kind of sentiments
in the selfsame lifetime. But kßa√aμ
yuga-çatam iva – feeling
a moment of K®ß√a’s absence to be like
millenniums – what is the
nature of this sentiment? Although here it
is pürva-råga, it can
also be mahåbhåva, as in this verse:
yugåyitaμ nimeße√a
cakßußå pråv®ßåyitam
çünyåyitaμ jagat sarvaμ
govinda-virahe√a me
Çrî Çikßå߆aka (7)
152 Bhakti-rasåyana
O sakhî, in separation from Govinda, even
one second seems like
millenniums. Tears are flowing from My
eyes like clouds showering
torrents of rain, and the entire world
appears empty.
This is also mahåbhåva; it is not an
ordinary sentiment. The
poet Ca√∂îdåsa has written:
sai! kevå sunåile çyåma nåma?
kånera bhitara diyå, marame pasila go,
åkula karila mora prå√a
Although outwardly it is on the order of
Nanda and Yaçodå that
K®ß√a joins the other boys to take the
cows out to graze for the
day – He knows this is the dharma for
those of His class – it is
actually with immense bhåva that He joins
His friends. He has
just passed His paugaöa age and is
entering His kaiçora age.
K®ß√a is speaking with Subala or some
other cowherd boy, and
the sakhîs are conversing amongst
themselves. Sai is a very simple
and sweet word for sakhî. They say, “Sai,
why have we been made
to hear the name of Çyåma? Entering
through our ears, it has
touched the core of our hearts and confounded
our very lives.”
At once the gopîs became perplexed in the
eagerness to attain
K®ß√a, and this is the very purpose of
hearing the scriptures. By
hearing the glories of our worshipful
deity through the medium
of our ears, our heart should become so attached
to Him that day
and night we will do nothing besides
meditate on His sweetness.
The gopîs have not just come to the end of
sådhana by attaining
svarüpa-siddhi, but they are actually
manifestations of the hlådinîçakti.
This meditation is not possible for
ordinary people. But as
men who work in an oil factory will
certainly develop a coating
of oil on their hands, similarly when a sådhaka
hears and speaks
about these topics, “his hands will become
coated”, meaning that
a little bhåva will arise in him by which
his life will become
successful.
Chapter Fourteen 153
Our spiritual sentiments should be so deep
that we won’t be
able to forget them even for a moment, but
regrettably, we have
become accustomed to generally doing exactly
the opposite. We
hear these topics, but it seems as if
immediately afterwards,
remembrance of material enjoyment consumes
us. We are chanting
the holy name, studying çlokas and giving
scriptural readings,
but where are our minds? Just as when we
place an empty pot in
a river it immediately fills up with
water, immediately after hearing
some of this bhagavat-kathå our minds will
again become
filled with thoughts of the sense
enjoyment that we have been
experiencing since time immemorial. We
must try to keep the
mind free from these thoughts, even though
it may not always
remain steady. We should go to wherever hari-kathå
is being
spoken and completely fill our minds with
it, leaving no room for
thoughts of sense enjoyment.
Indeed, there is nothing more favourable
for us than hearing
hari-kathå, and it should be as our food.
We should have love for
hari-kathå, and if not, then we should at
least consider it our duty
to hear it, understanding that it will
bestow upon us our ultimate
good fortune. Those whose hearts have been
thoroughly purified,
who never think of sense enjoyment – when
they hear such kathå,
deep sentiments that touch the very core
of their hearts arise, and
they remain absorbed in those sentiments
day and night.
In another place Ca√∂îdåsa writes that the
young kiçorî daughter
of Mahåråja V®ßabhånu sits alone,
completely perplexed, not
speaking to anyone, and one of Her elders
says to Her, “My
child, what are You doing? Why are You
sitting there like that?
Come over here and do this task.” But She
doesn’t listen; She is
unable to comprehend what has happened
inside Her. Her eyes
are open, which is a symptom of
consciousness, but She isn’t
looking at anything. She saw Çyåma one
time, but He left, and
154 Bhakti-rasåyana
now She just remains silent and
motionless. She has no desire to
eat, and She is wearing red cloth – why?
To help Her forget His
bodily complexion so that She won’t become
more dazed and
Her condition won’t then be detected by
Her elders. With a hairband
She has tied white flowers onto Her hair
so that its dark
shade will not remind Her of Çyåma, but
since He has already
captured the core of Her heart, how can
She possibly prevent
remembrance of Him from coming?
Then She began gazing at a cloud that
possessed the same complexion
as Çyåma. Sometimes She enters the house
and sometimes
She comes back out; She takes long breaths
and Her mind is not
steady on anything. Then an elder says to
Her, “Why did You go
there? What was the necessity? Beware! Don’t
ever look in the
direction of that boy again! Don’t focus
Your mind on Him for
even one moment, or You won’t be able to
perform Your household
duties! You are not listening to me, so
have You now lost the
fear of Your elders as well? Has some
ghost or demigod possessed
You?” Not aware of anything, She falls
down, and when they
lift Her up and place Her somewhere else,
She falls down again.
Because She has lost Her fear of Her
elders, they even abandon
the idea of finding a husband for Her. But
Ca√∂îdåsa says, “Yes,
I understand: She is not mad, not
possessed, nothing of the sort,
but She has simply fallen into the trap of
that black snake Çyåma.”
This is pürva-råga.
But how can a sådhaka experience this?
Generally our minds
are full of unlimited varieties of
material desires, but when none
of these desires remain, meaning when one
obtains the company
of an exalted guru and receives the
unconditional mercy of
Bhagavån, then some shadow of bhåva will
come. By chanting
the extraordinarily beautiful çyåma-nåma and
the Hare K®ß√a
mantra, Rüpa Gosvåmî, Raghunåtha dåsa
Gosvåmî and Nårada
Chapter Fourteen 155
all went mad in ecstasy, so tell me then –
how much bhåva must
be contained within it? And Bhaktivinoda ˇhåkura
also has written
so many lines that are saturated with bhåva,
like:
vibhåvarî-çeßa, åloka-praveça,
nidrå chå∂i’ u†ha jîva
Kalyå√a-kalpataru (Nåma-kîrtana 2)
This refers to meditating on the pastimes
that K®ß√a performs at
the end of the night while ordinary jîvas remain
sleeping. And in
the same song, phula-çara-jojaka kåma: “Çrî
K®ß√a utilises flowered
arrows to increase the gopîs’ desire.”
Until one has understood
well the conception delineated in Ujjvala-nîlama√i,
he
won’t understand this line. Or if the kåma-gåyatrî
reveals itself to
someone, then that person will understand
something of its
meaning, but without the mercy of the kåma-gåyatrî
it cannot
be understood. The bhåva of a mahå-bhågavata
Vaiß√ava comes
within this line, but even though we sing
this line every morning,
what do we accrue from it? Therefore the
difference between a
sådhaka’s chanting of the holy name and a
perfected soul’s chanting
of the holy name is like the difference
between the land and
the sky. When one has fully realised the
sweetness of harinåma,
then his tongue will not be able to stop
chanting it. For example,
when Caitanya Mahåprabhu would go to pass
water, He would
firmly grasp His tongue with one hand.
Seeing this, His young
servant Gopåla asked, “O Lord, why are You
doing this?”
Mahåprabhu replied, “My tongue doesn’t
obey Me. One
shouldn’t take the name of Govinda in a
contaminated place, but
it won’t obey Me.”
Gopåla replied, “But my Lord, at the time
of dying one may
pass stool and urine, and if we don’t
chant the holy name at that
time, our lives will be spoiled!”
Being pleased, Mahåprabhu said, “As of
today you have
156 Bhakti-rasåyana
become guru. Yes, the holy name should be
taken at that time
also.” So He released His tongue and
chanted at all times, even
when going to the bathroom. During the
night, Mahåprabhu’s
servant Govinda dåsa thought that He was
merely sleeping, but
He would remain awake chanting k®ß√a-nåma,
crying and sometimes
rubbing His face on the wall. And when
Råya Råmånanda
and Svarüpa Dåmodara would come, Govinda
dåsa would
become very unhappy and think, “Why have
they come? They
will make Him cry and He will not be able
to sleep tonight.”
When this high type of intense bhåva comes
while chanting
the holy name, then one’s composure will
be destroyed and he
will think, “Without seeing K®ß√a I cannot
live any longer! How
can I meet Him? What will I do?” Then one’s
fear of elders, fear
of being disgraced in society, and
self-restraint are all lost. There
are certain inhibitions that restrain
love, but when they are all
broken down, one’s self-restraint is lost.
Even RukmiÔ and
Satyabhåmå are not capable of this, so
what to speak of others?
The night before her proposed marriage,
through a bråhma√a
Rukmi√î sent a message to K®ß√a saying, “Tomorrow
I will be
married. If You don’t come and save me
from this, I will give up
my life. Shamefully I am writing this to
You; a cultured girl
should not write like this, but shamefully
I am writing to You
because otherwise a jackal will snatch
away the lion’s share.” So
even though RukmiÔ is expressing these
deep sentiments, she
feels some shame; but the gopîs feel no
such shame, and therefore
their bhåva is so much deeper. When the gopîs
would see K®ß√a
returning from taking the cows out to
graze, they would gaze
upon Him with greedy eyes and their ånanda
would increase. But
when they couldn’t see Him, even a moment
seemed like millions
of yugas that would never pass. This is pürva-råga,
and countless
beautiful sentiments are included within
it.
Chapter Fourteen 157
The gopîs felt that the time which elapsed
during the blinking of
their eyes was like an infinity, and they
have themselves described
this in Çrîmad-Bhågavatam (10.31.15):
a†ati yad bhavån ahni kånanaμ
tru†i yugåyate tvåm apaçyatåm
ku†ila-kuntalaμ çrî-mukhaμ ca te
ja∂a udîkßatåμ pakßma-k®d d®çåm
When K®ß√a would spend the day wandering
in the forest with
the sakhås, the gopîs, unable to see His
beautiful face adorned with
lovely locks of hair, would be anguished
in separation from Him.
And what to speak of that, even when K®ß√a
was before them,
they considered the tiny fraction of time
that elapsed in the blinking
of their eyes to be like millenniums, and
they cursed the creator
Brahmå as being foolish for having created
eyes that must
blink. Our time is mostly spent joking
around, but in comparison
what kind of bhajana was performed by
these great personalities?
We have read that only once in his entire
life did Raghunåtha
dåsa Gosvåmî laugh. While he was reading
Rüpa Gosvåmî’s
Vidagdha-mådhava-nå†aka, his tears were
falling on the handwritten
pages and smearing the ink. Seeing this,
Rüpa Gosvåmî
asked for it back, but Raghunåtha dåsa
clutched it to his heart
and refused to return it. Therefore Rüpa
Gosvåmî composed the
Dåna-keli-kaumudî very quickly, and after
reading only a few
verses of it, Raghunåtha dåsa began
laughing. Otherwise he
remained crying for K®ß√a throughout his
entire life. If there is
such crying for K®ß√a, then that is real sådhana
and one will certainly
receive His darçana, just as in the case
of Bilvama∫gala.
Presently we may be engaged in only the
semblance (åbhåsa) of
real sådhana, but if even in this stage of
sådhana-åbhåsa we feel so
much joy by hearing and speaking this kathå,
then just imagine
how blissful we will feel when we enter
into real sådhana!
Om Tat Sat
(Continued...)
(My
humble salutations to the lotus feet of Swami jis great Devotees , Philosophic
Scholars, Purebhakti dot com for
the collection)
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